Easy Answers redux

Posted on by Dale

I am re-upping my Easy Answers series, wherein I ask my elected congresscritter a very easy question and then report on any answer they might give.

Today: https://www.axios.com/local/salt-lake-city/2025/03/17/navajo-code-talkers-trump-dei-military-websites-wwii

I emailed my Republixanazi congresscritter, Brian Jack, and asked this easy question: Do you support this brute Stalinesque purge of our nation’s history?

It’s a simple yes or no question, right?

You should know up front that it has been 131 days since Nov 6, 2024, and so far this is the only email response I have ever gotten from Rep. Jack:

Dear Friend,

Thank you for contacting me and taking the time to share your thoughts on this important matter.

As my office gets up and running, I will be sure to send you a more detailed response. I simply wanted you to know that your opinion has been noted and your voice has been heard.

It is a great honor to serve as your Representative in Washington, DC. I am humbled to take on this responsibility and look forward to serving our great state and Nation to the best of my abilities. To better stay in touch, please sign up to receive my e-newsletter through my website.

Sincerely,
Brian Jack
Member of Congress

131 days, and his office is still not fully functional. Maybe DOGGIE should look at the government efficiency on Capitol Hill.

At any rate, I will post any real response here. I don’t expect to get a real response, just some pusillanimous bullshit about tHe PrEsiDeNt’S AnTi-dEi racist policies, as if they are valid or in any way a good thing for our country.[1]

—————

[1] They are in fact neither valid nor good in any way for our country.

A serious question

Posted on by Dale

Back in 2015, our friends and we set out for Arizona. It started when one of our members wanted to experience the “thin places” in Sedona, and then my Lovely First Wife turned into a large-scale trip involving Flagstaff, Grand Canyon, Antelope Canyon and a sweltering raft ride on the might Colorado, Sedona, and squeezing in the Montezuma Castle National Monument on the way back to Phoenix. (You can read all about it here. And of course my world-changing Lyles REMS Scale of Woo. In both instances, scroll to the bottom and work your way up.)

THE POINT BEING that while we were in Sedona, we indulged in all the woo we could find, including having our chakras balanced at the Center for the New Age, and somehow my email got attached to my Lovely First Wife’s signing up for a weekly newsletter.

So yes, ten years later I check my “personal horoscope” from the Center every week. In my defense, I am an Existential Mystic [see: Lyles REMS Scale, linked above], so it’s always good to check in on what the Universe is up to, even if it is mere wooish mumbo-jumbo.

Occasionally, of course, said horoscope just offers up tantalizing visions of what could be. Unfortunately, they almost always involve my getting off my ass and putting in the work. How is this even fair, even? Why isn’t the Universe just handing to me if that’s what the Universe has in store for me? Can I get an amen?

Anyway, this week’s was rather upbeat, given the hellscape we are currently entering:

Taurus (April 20-May 20) Weekly Horoscope: for Taurus & Taurus Rising

House Impacted: 10th house (career, public image)
Themes: Dream big, act boldly.

Taurus, it’s time to turn your professional aspirations into action. Venus and Neptune in your career zone are stirring up creative visions of what’s possible, but daydreaming alone won’t get the job done. Jupiter stationing direct in your 2nd house helps clarify your financial priorities, while Venus in Aries on February 6 inspires you to work behind the scenes on your next big move. This isn’t about instant results—it’s about setting the stage for long-term success.

IRL Tip: Write down one bold career goal and take a small step toward it. Whether it’s scheduling a meeting or updating your portfolio, progress starts now.

I mean to say, how mean is this? For one thing, WHAT ONE BOLD CAREER MOVE SHOULD I BE WRITING DOWN?

That’s a serious question. How the fupp should I know?? I mean, really, how should I know what that one bold career move should be?

I am taking suggestions in comments.

More thoughts on good things

Posted on by Dale

More thoughts on Bes.

As I worked on the t-shirts, coffee mugs, and stickers over at CafePress yesterday [for Bes’s sake, CafePress, make your processes make sense], and the more I thought about the Be Bes Initiative, the more existential it became rather than just political.[1]  [2]

An ugly little statuette of the Egyptian god Bes is shown, with the words BE BES beneathTo recap: Bes was the ancient Egyptian god who protected households, particularly mothers, children, and childbirth. He came to be regarded as the defender of everything good and the enemy of all that is bad, and since he drove off evil, Bes also came to symbolize the good things in life – music, dance, and sexual pleasure.

Faced with an existentially cruel administration seizing the reins of power in our country, we must commit ourselves to the side of Bes, to the side of homes, families, food and drink, music and dance, human intimacy — in all its forms.

So herewith, a minifesto:

  • We believe that home, family, food, drink, music, dance, intimacy are good.
  • We believe that everyone, every human, has the right to that which is good.

sidebar: In his Ethics for a New Millennium, the Dalai Lama begins by asking the reader two questions: Do you seek happiness? Do you seek to avoid pain? And then he asks a third question: Do you imagine that other beings seek the same things? All ethics proceeds from there.

  • We believe that anyone who denies any human the right to the good is placing themselves on the side of evil.
  • We will defeat evil

But but but… I can hear objections already. No.

“They should have come here legally…” — bzzt! Congratulations: You’re on team evil.

“Their lifestyle is a sin…” — bzzt! Team evil.

“They shouldn’t have done drugs…” — bzzt!

“Homelessness is their own fault…” — bzzt! You have chosen to be on team evil.

“Yeah, well, why should I obey a pagan god…” Sure. Fine. Try listening to your own god, then.

And he will answer them, ‘Yes! I tell you that whenever you refused to do it for the least important of these people, you refused to do it for me!’

Be Bes.

—————

[1] You’d better believe it is political.

[2] Please understand that I am not doing this to sell t-shirts. You are all welcome to steal the Be Bes image and use it for good. My interest is in the initiative, to shame and expose the evil in our country. (Bigger version here.)

All the good things

Posted on by Dale

First, allow me to deeply apologize for not blogging our recent trip to Egypt. I intended to, but beyond the usual spotty wifi aboard a Viking River Cruise (otherwise flawless other than the lack of bitters at the bar), the trip was an absolute slog. Maybe I’ll share some details later. Maybe.

Second, I discovered a new presence for the labyrinth: Meet Bes, the Egyptian god of the household.

This jaunty little fellow is depicted with squat, bow legs; cat ears; protruding tongue; and, naturally, erect phallus.

From his Wikipedia post: Bes was the ancient Egyptian god who protected households, particularly mothers, children, and childbirth. He came to be regarded as the defender of everything good and the enemy of all that is bad, and since he drove off evil, Bes also came to symbolize the good things in life – music, dance, and sexual pleasure.

It occurred to me almost immediately that we need Bes, since we are now facing an overwhelming evil in our nation, and who better to bring along to defend us than the defender of everything good? And so…

I’m thinking I’m going to whip up some t-shirts and other merch over at my Lichtenbergian shop at CafePress, because nothing drives the theocrats crazier than people having fun and doing good right in front of them. As H.L. Mencken said, “Puritanism: The haunting fear that someone, somewhere, may be happy.”

The fact that it mocks the previous lame-ass “initiative” of one or more family members returning to our White House next week is icing on the deliciously snarky cake.

Stay tuned.

update: Ta-da! https://www.cafepress.com/shop/Lichtenbergianism

Rant: This is why we can’t have nice things

Posted on by Dale

Today over at the faceplace — and for over a week now — people have been posting memes/screenshots about our country’s piss-poor, for-profit healthcare system. Today a friend posted this screenshot:

And then someone she knows — not anyone I know — posted this:

This is breathtaking in its heartless, deliberately insulated opinion. (The author is CEO of his own capital company, so that’s our frame of reference.) Let’s dismantle it, shall we?

Right off the bat, the name-calling. Oooh, SOCIALAMISM, KENNETH!! The scary bugaboo shibboleth of every rich shithead ever. It’s not the insult you think it is, asshole.

Sure, it sucks that these people blew their savings to try to prolong her life. I mean, who does such a thing?? The asshole’s sneering “I’m sorry” is completely warranted, I’m sure. After all, what other resolution to this tragedy could there possibly be (in this country THE GREATEST COUNTRY IN THE WORLD WITH THE GREATEST HEALTHCARE IN THE WORLD EVEN)??

Then we get to the crux of the matter: Superior beings, those Masters of the Universe that the right wing is so anxious for us all to worship, plan their lives better, don’t they? I mean, they live healthy lives, so they never get cancer. That’s just common sense, right?

And even if they do, they’ve saved enough to get the medical attention they deserve, because they planned their lives better than those people. The poor people.

Then we close out with the sound of the point of the screenshot whooshing right over the asshole’s head: “If you want medical attention, you have to buy it from the person who spent their whole life to become a specialist and from a system that invested large amounts of capital that it borrowed from individual private investors to build the facilities and buy the equipment.”

I guess when capital is your only tool, then every problem is a profit/loss ratio problem opportunity, right?

Jebus H. Cthulhu, dude, you just posited the entire problem with our healthcare system as the way it should be. It never occurs to you, does it, that a multiverse is possible where we as a society, through our government and our taxes, will do the investing and building of our hospitals and clinics, and the whole concept of private investors recouping their investment with a profit of course what are you a socialist KENNETH? will die a silent death.

Kind of like the death he wishes on the lady in the screenshot.

Cocktail update: The Citrine

Posted on by Dale

As you may recall, I recently invented a cocktail called The Citrine. It was notable in that its ingredients were all handmade: the plum vodka from my neighbor, the simple syrup from me, and the shrub from a small company in Smyrna.

But Dale, I hear you ask, what happens when your neighbor runs out of plum vodka, and now that the small company is Smyrna has shut down, what will you do for the Peach & Cardamom shrub?

Follow along, class, and let’s fix this together.

First, the plum vodka. I am not a fan of 95% of flavored base liquors, but I am not unaware of the multitudinous abominations in that category, so I was sure I had never seen plum vodka. And I hadn’t. I was helped by a young person who was stocking the shelves, and even he had to have it looked up so he could find it. (It was on the top shelf of the vodka section, where neither he nor I had dreamed of looking because — trust me — it’s not top shelf material.)

This is Plush. It is too sweet to be a vodka, more like a liqueur, so that meant a complete rejiggering of the ingredients. In addition, rather than the original apple simple syrup, I decided to make an apple cider simple syrup for a little extra edge (recipe to follow).

The Citrine (non-handcrafted version)

  • 1 3/4 oz plum vodka (Plush)
  • 3/4 oz peach & cardamom shrub
  • 1/4 oz apple cider simple syrup

Shake with ice, strain into a Nick & Nora glass.

You will notice that we use triple the amount of shrub in this version; that’s how sweet the Plush is.

Apple Cider Simple Syrup

Boil 3 cups of apple cider with 1 cup of turbinado sugar until the sugar is dissolved and the cider has reduced to 2 cups. Cool. Add an ounce of vodka, calvados, or applejack to the mixture to help prevent mold.

We have one more variation to try: plum brandy, or slivovitz, which is marginally easier to find than plum vodka. And I may make an apple cider syrup with brown sugar to see if that adds depth to the drink or not. And I have found a peach/cardamom shrub recipe that I will be trying early next week. (I’m aiming to serve this at a holiday function where apparently I am the go-to bartender.)

Stay tuned.

New Cocktail: The Citrine

Posted on by Dale

Okay, you might have a little trouble getting your hands on the ingredients for this one, since two of them are home-made and one is from a small food company in Smyrna, GA [keep reading]. But it’s worth it!

This is one of those cocktails (of more than a few!) that I came up with after sitting with the ingredients for a while before I thought, why the heck not, let’s mix these two and see what happens.

The Citrine

First we start with a plum vodka that was given to me several months ago by our incredible neighbor Lisa Lee. She gifts me with all kinds of home-made substances, like elderflower liqueur and this plum vodka, made from either things she grows in the backyard (over the fence from my labyrinth) or gets at the market.

That’s the bottle on the right. On the left is a Peach & Cardamom Shrub, which means it’s vinegar (in this case, apple cider vinegar) with infusions. It’s from a company called MarRay Foods and was given to me by a burner friend at Alchemy back in October. (My camp, 3 Old Men, is known for its craft cocktail bar.)

And in the rear is the apple simple syrup, the recipe for which is dead simple.

  • 1 3/4 oz plum vodka
  • 1/4 oz Peach & Cardamom Shrub
  • 1/3 oz apple simple syrup

Pour the ingredients into a cocktail shaker. Shake with ice, then strain into a cocktail or Nick & Nora glass.

The Citrine is fruity, not too sweet, and then finishes with that lovely acidity that vinegar brings.

Apple Simple Syrup

  • 1 cup apple juice
  • 1 cup turbinado sugar

Mix the apple juice and sugar in a small pot. Bring to a boil, then stir until the sugar has dissolved. Cool, and store in the refrigerator. If you can’t find turbinado sugar — it shouldn’t be a problem — try brown sugar.

Coming soon: a recipe for the shrub, since MarRay Foods (I just discovered) is in the process of shutting down so that its proprietor can go back for their Masters in Library Science! Huzzah!

How damn dumb are they?

Posted on by Dale

The other day I received in the mail an envelope that encouraged me to claim this SPECIAL OFFER WITHIN 10 DAYS. Normally I just toss these sorts of things straight into the trash, since they are never anything I am interested in, but this time I just happened to see through the envelope window the phrase… PRESIDENT TRUMP TRAIN.

Well.

Breathlessly I tore open the envelope and was deluged with multiple forms and pieces of paper.

This opens up.

NOT AVAILABLE IN ANY STORE, KENNETH!

Notice how you don’t get your FREE TRACK SET until Shipment Two.

Of course this is a scam to separate the MAGAts from their money. How can I tell? See how that flyer opened up and there’s a foldover on the right? On the reverse:

That’s right, this crap is from 2016. They haven’t even updated the brochures.

Look, KENNETH, “gleaming gold-tone wheels.” Not gold, not gold-plated, gold-toned. Appropriate for that new President, indeed.

Then we start getting the details: You’ll get another train car every other month — but no clue as to how many this might end up being.

As for Trump’s “stirring messages of patriotism and American greatness,” I invite you to scroll back up and look at the close-up of the first three shipments. MAKE AMERICA GREAT AGAIN seems to be about it for stirring messages, but then again, the audience for this scam is easily impressed.

The audience for this scam is also easily stampeded. As amygdala-based lifeforms, they seek fear and anger to feed their brains, and so this whole pitch is designed to make their brains tingle with anxiety that they might miss out on this PART OF HISTORY.

YOU’RE SPECIAL. YOU’RE ENTITLED. DON’T WAIT! ALL THOSE OTHER SPECIAL, ENTITLED PEOPLE ARE GOING TO BEAT YOU TO IT!

And best of all: SEND NO MONEY NOW.

What’s not to like?

If you are of a suspicious mind, you might be wondering how much this costs. Does it say? Not on the big brochure. Not on the little folded note-size piece, that reiterates that YOU NEED TO HURRY IF YOU WANT THIS HISTORICAL THING. Not on the claim notice. Not on the generic Hamilton Collection flyer.

So many pieces of paper! It’s almost like they think the audience for this scam might not have the laser-like focus needed to read it all.

Ah, there it is, in the fine print:

That’s right, the charge for the first shipment is $89.99 plus $14.99, and wouldn’t you know it — you get all [redacted] pieces for the same attractive price, which is… do the math, carry the one… $104.98.

One hundred dollars for each of those HISTORIC train cars. That’s $314.94 just for the first three cars — and there is no indication of when (if ever) the shipments will stop. I’ll let you do the math for a decent-sized train set. (And The Hamilton Collection is a subset of The Bradford Exchange, which charges your credit card before each shipment. You’ll never even notice the money is gone, right?)

And HO scale?

That’s the one in front. Notice the hobbyist’s fingers at the right of frame. The gauge of the tracks, i.e., the distance between the tracks, is .625″, 5/8 of an inch. $104.98. Each.

So the Bradford Exchange has had these things sitting in a warehouse somewhere for eight years and has the chutzpah to pass them off as a fresh idea. And only someone who is too dumb to realize that if the Bradford Exchange still has these to sell after eight years, then maybe DEMAND DIDN’T ALREADY EXCEED EXPECTATIONS as might have been expected.

A Trump voter, in other words.

New Cocktail: [unnamed bourbon cocktail]

Posted on by Dale

I created this back before Alchemy in October, but I still haven’t come up with a name yet.

[unnamed bourbon cocktail]

  • 1 1/2 oz bourbon
  • 1/2 oz Rivulet pecan liqueur
  • 1/2 oz salty caramel flavored whisky
  • 2–3 dashes smoke bitters

Stir with ice, strain into highball glass with ice.

You might add a little sweetener to it, but I don’t think it needs it. It is actually pretty complex for such a bougie combination.

Suggest names in the comments.

The Savoy Variations: Warday’s Cocktail

Posted on by Dale

I’m bored, so I’m taking random cocktail recipes from The Savoy Cocktail Book (1930), giving them a try, and modifying/improving them if I think it’s necessary, and reporting my findings here.

Warday’s Cocktail

[p. 169]

This one was pleasant enough, but kind of lackluster. I almost splurged and used some of my very precious green chartreuse — and I am assuming they meant green, not yellow — but chickened out and used Boomsma Kloosterbitter instead. (I may make it again with one of the other not-quite-chartreuses in my cabinet to see how they work. And I may break out the actual Chartreuse.) At any rate, after a sip or two I added another teaspoon of the Kloosterbitter and that helped a lot.

You will also notice that I used Old Tom gin. I was surprised to discover that I had no actual dry gin in the cabinet. Don’t know how that happened, so I may take steps to remedy that before making this again. Also, I could play around with the sweet vermouth to see if one of the others might bump it up a bit.

  • 3/4 oz sweet vermouth
  • 3/4 oz dry gin
  • 3/4 oz Calvados/apple brandy
  • 2 tsp green chartreuse

I’m counting this one as my improvement, especially if I make more with alternate ingredients.

SAVOY VARIATIONS SCORECARD:

  • Savoy: 7
  • Dale: 3
  • Sink: 4