Double-ha! I walked the dog tonight and actually wrote lyrics to Thurgood’s song in Act II, wherein, if you will recall, he abuses all kinds of women along the lines of Lydia the Tatooed Lady and Egyptian Ella by denying that he would ever abuse those kinds of women.

The song will be in triple time, like “Lydia.”

Three verses so far (not counting Marc’s lovely “Dissociative Disorder Delores):

There’s a lot you could say for Gertrudë
She was clean and she came when you called.
But I’m afraid I could not have been rudah
When I found she was totally bald.

And then I was dumped by poor Mimi
Because I failed one of her tests:
It was bad that I ran away screaming
When I found that she sported three breasts.

I was ready to wed my dear Julia,
But she threw a wrench in my plan:
“Oh darling, I’m sorry to fool ya,
But you see that I’m really a man!”

And so on and so forth. The chorus will be something like, “I would never… I would never…” something something something.

8 days to go.