I don’t even know how to begin this post. I thought about something like, “You know why George Lichtenberg gives up on his symphony?” or something about the number of days left in the countdown, but I’m not up to being clever.
Stephen Czarkowksi, GHP’s fabulous string teacher/orchestral conductor, who requested I write this piece, will not be returning this summer, having other opportunities he should not pass up. There is no reason for me to keep working on Symphony in G major.
I’ve just been kind of numb, kind of nauseated, since this afternoon when I got Stephen’s email. This is a huge disappointment for me, needless to say, and coming on the heels of the news about the theatre losing the building, I’ve been thrown for a loop.
Oh well, easy come, easy go. I can at least get back to work on A Day in the Moonlight, I guess.
That SUCKS.
Write it anyway, my friend. Write it anyway. We will premiere it at one of our gatherings around the fire!
There are no words.
It’s the last great test. BEHOLD THE VOID. Then continue working. “Resume the struggle.”
You mean like that self-actualization crap? Screw that. I want performance. I want validation. I want 75 musicians submitting to my will.
At some point, of course I’ll finish it.
I’m the last person who would advocate self-actualization. I’m just advocating good ole existential perseverance. And don’t let the “e” word trigger a reaction, anyone. Both Sartre AND St. John of the Cross would offer the same advice.
The lines H. Richard Smith had us memorize from Thomas Gray’s Elegy in a Country Churchyard seem appropriate here:
Full many a gem of purest ray serene
The dark unfathomed caves of ocean bear.
Full many a flower was born to blush unseen
And waste its sweetness on the desert air.
That IS all.
You didn’t have to give us the entire script for the Lichtenberg play Dale. We could have created some of it ourselves.
Of course you’ll finish it someday, but what a let down after that beautiful Allegro Gracioso you just finished. I really thought you might complete the whole thing on time.
What platitude can I throw in to make you feel even worse? I think none, as you have plenty of things running through your head now anyway. Or how about this: the Lichtenberg Group eventually came out of the old NCTC, so who knows what will eventually come out of this?
But what drag this is right now!!!
I say, get drunk and kick things. Nothing I can say will make you feel better. I can only say that I relate to your pain. As a Lichtenbergian, pieces often go unfinished. Thus when you do get so excited about a project that it comes (or even begins to come) to fruition, only to have it qwashed through no fault of your own, the answer is get drunk and kick things.
I will also say that the events of the week have made me miss you very much. Consider this a virtual hug until I can get there in person.
Finish the symphony!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Dammit.
Garfield Minus Garfield, as usual, for the win.