It’s been a while since I’ve gone on a liberal rant, mainly because the conservatives these days are so head-slappingly idiotic that it hardly seems worthwhile to complain about them.

But even though the Republican Presidential candidate debates are particularly popcorn-worthy, an idea occurred to me this morning on the way to work that I have to share.  It concerns Herman Cain, one of the quasi-front-runners in the Republican race.

First of all: honey, please.  Does anything think this person is going to be the Republican candidate, much less the next black President of the U.S.?  Not after I get through with what I have to say.

In one of the debates—it was #143, I think, the one in Talladega—Herman Cain shared his solution to the illegal immigrant issue.  I’ll link to it so you can read for yourself, but essentially, operating on the premise that one can never be too grotesquely bloodthirsty to gross out the Republican base, he proposes an electrified fence, and if that doesn’t stop the Mescans, shoot them.

No, really.

Now you might think this would shoot Cain to the top of the polls, and if you go read the comments on the FreeRepublic, you’d be right.  But I’m here to tell you that Herman Cain is nothing but a big-government, big-spending Marxist.  How do you think that big old fence is going to get built?  Volunteer labor?  Heck no, that’s going to be one more gigantic gummint boondoggle, costing billions of tax dollars to begin with and like as not going billions over budget.  You can’t tell me that’s not Cain’s plan from the get-go.

[And no, the billions of tax dollars being spent on the fence would not be creating jobs.  Don’t be stupid.  The government can never create jobs.  It just spends money, building fences.  And highways.  And dams.  And bridges.  But jobs?  Honey, please.]

What would a real teabaggin’ Reagan Republican do?  Privatize, that’s what!

Why devote gummint soldiers to the task of shooting down illegals when you can sell off the hunting rights to the private citizens of Arizona and Texas to do it theirselves?  It’s a win-win situation, y’all: we the freedom-loving taxpayers get the income from the rentals; the border states get an economic boost in the areas of deer stands, ammo, and liquor; and the whole nation benefits from being rid of those devious Mescans who love nothing better than to swarm into our country and take those $5.00/hour jobs picking tomatoes in Alabama.

So the next time you hear someone speak admirably of Herman Cain, feel free to point out to them that the man is no better than Barack HUSSEIN Obama.  Worse: because Obama hasn’t proposed devoting nearly the amount of government money to creating jobs for Americans that Herman Cain has.

I await a grateful nation’s thanks.