All right, here it is.
I like the last bit before the double bar, where the strings pluck the diminished seventh chord and it heads into the major section. I’m not sure I like the transition. I think we need one more gasp of the tympani there. I’ll play with it to see.
I’d really like to hear it more cleanly and more humanly played. I might know what to do with it.
I really like the way the bass clarinet, tuba, and double bass are not in tune at m. 19. What the hell??
And there are some noticeable gaps where notes should be held through. Again, how does the computer decide not to play a note?
Time to call an exorcist. You need the phone number?
George Lichtenberg here:
There’s a spot where the horns come in with the broken-up motif in the new section where the triplet thingie stops short; sounds like a gap. Add more triplets. And yes, we need to hear the tympani and bass drum again.
After the key change, there needs to be some calm, sustained strings, maybe woodwinds, to let the mood settle in before the harp and solo violin take off on their flight. It’s too abrupt.
The violin and harp are not arriving too abruptly, I think. It’s the presentation of a new idea. Obviously you are setting it out and readying to develop it.
As to your doubts, hold firmly to the gesture at the base of the music. If the gesture is not as distinct as you wish, tweak till it is. You can do this.
Actually, I’m pretty OK with it at this point. I’ve burned a CD for the first time to start listening to the thing in the car, which has always been a part of my process: just listen to it over and over and hear what’s missing or where it goes off a track.
This will be different than William Blake, where I worked from the beginning of a piece and went from there, adding as I set lyrics. Here, I’ve started with a chunk at the end, the last movement; the next time I burn a CD, I’ll include the fragment of III. Allegro gracioso as well, and I’ll have this slow series of CDs where the symphony slowly accretes and burgeons.
More waste book from driving this afternoon:
I did the first one, plus adding piano and harp on the lowest notes, holding over.
I did not delete the harp triplets, but reconfigured them, rising from the bass and heading upwards, settling on the eventual pattern. I may still go back and delete them.
I haven’t tried the last one yet. That one was one of those weird things: I’ll be listening to the piece, and suddenly I can hear quite distinctly another part. It may be just a bump in the road, the car rattling, but it makes sense when I hear it. You have no idea how many tweakings of Milky Way resulted from this kind of experience.
Just so long as you never write: “Waste book WHILE driving…”
I just uploaded the clean version of the mp3, so readers who have arrived after Feb. 2 will wonder what the kvetching about the computer are. It still can’t play subtly, but at least the gaps are gone.
What readers?
“…listeners”?