Category: Liberal Rants

Thoughtful posts on why the neopaleolithic viewpoint, while perhaps valid for its adherents, is yet not the way I want my country run.

That’s not how this works.

Posted on by Dale

One would like to assume that the leader of this great nation of ours is able to grok How Things Work, because our experience in our own lives is that people who do not grok How Things Work have a tendency wreck Things so that they no longer Work.

Oh well.

Here is the man announcing… something?

(Click to see the original post and hear the man say those words.)

Let’s see if I can explain why this “idea” doesn’t work.

First, let’s be clear about why he’s pitching this “idea.” The [[[Republican Party]]] is way behind on every social policy you can think of. Their only defense at the moment is amgydala-stampeding — cOmMuNiSm KENNETH, tRaNs PeOpLe, WOMEN WARFIGHTERS WITH LOW TESTOSTERONE!!!!! — so this “idea” is a kind of sop thrown out there so they can say that they care about the healthcare issues that the rest of us encounter in this great nation of ours.[1] 

Here’s how you know they’re lying.

We can ignore all the stupid stuff, the “two weeks,” the idiotic “name,” et al. Instead, let’s dissect the premise, that we’re going to kill off health insurance companies by giving the citizens of our great nation of ours cash that they can, and I quote, “buy their own healthcare,” and “will save a lot of money.”

First of all, the idea of killing off health insurance companies is a great idea (and obviously a ploy to engage the amygdalas) although I think I would prefer easing them out of the business so as to avoid massive disruptions.[2] But [[[Turmp]]]’s alternative, to “give us cash” so we can buy our own “healthcare”?

Let’s grok how that’s supposed to work.

First, how much money are we talking about? I’m going to throw out a number, but you can substitute any number you like and the results will be the same. I’m going to suggest that [[[Turmp]]]’s minions would say that one’s deductible on one’s health insurance policy is a good place to start. So let’s say $5,000, which is above mine but below some others’ policies.

So I get $5,000 for my annual healthcare.

Stop right there. We know what a “deductible” is, right? It’s the amount that insurance companies require you to pay out of pocket before they will cover greater expenses. In other words, major healthcare expenses like surgery, long-term care, meds, are all your responsibility now. But you’ve got $5,000 for all that, right?

You see the problem.

The [[[Republicans]]] will argue that since you’re not paying health insurance premiums to the for-profit companies, you’re practically rich now. They’re lying, as usual. The amount coming back into your paycheck is still not enough to cover expenses, and that $5,000 you’re getting is tax revenue. In other words, you already had that money.

Let’s review how insurance works. It’s a risk pool, which means we all bet that we’re going to get sick at some point. The insurance company is betting that we won’t. Many of us will, some of us won’t, but a significant number will have extensive healthcare needs. By pooling our money, by putting all our $5,000 chips into the pool,  the lucky among us will “lose” our bets, i.e., the money we paid in premiums never comes back to us because we didn’t get sick, but overall we as a nation benefit from not having people die unnecessarily or lose their houses because they did get sick.

But Dale, I hear you expostulate, isn’t that what we’re doing now, pooling our money and doling it out to those who need it? Sure, except for a) a not insignificant amount of our dollars go for profit, which of course is the raison d’être for these companies anyway; and b) these companies can just decide not to honor the bet, denying your claim for coverage for your cancer surgery or your MRI or your meds. Instead of that, let’s do what societies who are societies do to ensure the greatest good for the greatest number. In other words, not a [[[Republican Party]]] healthcare plan.

[[[Republicans]]] find this icky. They want us all to be rUgGeD iNdiViDuALiStS KENNETh and tough it out on our homesteads with our tradwives and spawn. Or die.

All the evidence, both for economics and healthcare, points to universal healthcare as being more effective than our current for-profit system, which again[1], we are the only nation that suffers under. You’d think that a party devoted as the [[[Republican Party]]] says they are to lowering government expenses would hop on that. It’s almost as if they are beholden to the profit-makers. Or something.

[1] And only in this great nation of ours. Everybody else on the planet has universal healthcare.
[2] See the “Grok How Things Work” theory, above.

We’re not all in this together.

Posted on by Dale

The other day I had to go to Kroger at 5:08 to grab a pound of mushrooms, an ingredient for the meal I had already started prepping. It was, as you may imagine, packed with hordes of real people stopping by after work. Lines to checkout and self-checkout were down the aisles. It was a zoo.

As I threaded my way through the store, a lady in an electric cart eased out of an aisle that I was about to turn into. She apologized for being in the way, but I just smiled and said, “No problem — we’re all in this together, right?” She laughed and acknowledged as much.

Except… not really. We’re not all in this together. Republicans do not believe we’re all in this together. Republicans believe that more than half of us are not “us.” Republicans believe in “us,” but that “us” is rigorously defined as not “them.”

You know “them.” The poor, the hungry, the stranger, the victims. Them. Republicans don’t believe in “them,” at least not in a way that would convince Republicans to govern in ways that benefit “them.”

Here’s one quick, egregious, example: [[[Turmp]]] has refused to disperse funds from FEMA to “blue” states. They talked back to him, so he’s simply not going to release funds that Congress has appropriated for the relief of U.S. states and their citizens after disaster, because they’re not “us.”

That’s at the macro-criminal-grift end of the scale. At the individual level, people are finding their rent assistance, their food assistance, their health assistance, all being cut off because of Republican fury at “them,” the “takers,” the ones getting “fReE sTuFf” KENNETH from the gOvErNmEnT KENNETH.

“THEY” MUST BE PUNISHED, to the point that it is now mainstream (as in “out in the open”) Republican dogma that they must abolish Social Security, Medicare, and Medicaid. “They” are too much of a drag on the budget, you see. Ignore the additional $60 BILLION that Republicans are about to “reconcile” into the current budget, and don’t you dare bring up the $1.5 TRILLION Department of Defense budget Republicans are now putting into the next budget. That money is for “us.” Not “them.”

(You will notice that they don’t seem to be all that eager to punish those that are in on the game at the macro-criminal-grift end of the scale. [vid. sup.])

Republicans will object to this framing, of course. It should be obvious, they cry, that Republicans are the virtuous ones, the law-abiders, the righteous Xtianists, the patriots. Those others?

Well, they’re… you know. Poor. Uneducated. Different in ways that all right-thinking people should be repelled by. Them. “They” don’t deserve whatever money we as a society might give “them” to pay rent, buy groceries, have childcare or medical care. “They” should have made better life choices, right? But my “life choice” of not having bought mushrooms earlier in the day, requiring me to be polite and accommodating to my fellow shoppers, is not at all the same thing as the trap of being poor in these United States, even if Republicans want you think they are the same.

The whole mindset is grotesque. “Us” vs. “them,” where “them” is anyone who isn’t Republican, “those people” who haven’t earned the right to live. For a pithy and short previous take on the topic, see here.

Unpacking the amgdala-manipulation

Posted on by Dale

My goodness, isn’t Sarah Huckabee Sanders just the boldest little thing ever, just standing astride those Ozarks and repelling the Sharian hordes and shouting, “YOU SHALL NOT PASS, KENNETH!”

Honey please.

So, class, let’s unpack this ridiculous post from Xitter™, shall we?

First let’s review what we mean by amygdala-based lifeforms. Your amygdala is part of your brain, most often described as the center for your fight-or-flight responses. It’s reflexive, in that you will get that flush of whatever chemical (cortisol? I chose not to read the Wikipedia article closely) and your body will react to that fear or anger before you get to decide rationally whether that weird noise is actually a sabre-toothed tiger or just a brown thrasher doing its thing.

This is very useful for surviving and prevailing in the evolutionary sense, in that any humanoid without that reflexive amygdala would be eaten by the sabre-toothed tiger and not pass along its genes.

It turns out that in the evolutionary game, the amygdalas of some humanoids play a bigger role in their consciousness, i.e., they are more sensitive to those chemical messages of fear and anger than other humanoids. More than one study has shown that those humanoids who align more closely with the current [[[Republican Party]]] have more “fearful brains,” which again is not a judgment value of those brains at all, just an observation of the way conservative brains work.

Except… Some of those brains get addicted to the fear and anger. Like the artists over on Lichtenbergianism.com, who get a little flush of excitement whenever their brains invent a shinyperfect, they enjoy that chemical rush, and like human brains everywhere, they seek more of it.

Enter Sarah Huckabee Sanders and the rest of her tribe. You have probably noticed that the [[[Republican Party]]] does a lot of this, this ooga-booga maneuver of shoveling Things To Be Scared About into the brains of the amygdala-based lifeforms.

You and I can look at Sanders’s Xit™ and know immediately that it’s bullXit: There are no Sharian hordes threatening Arkansas (or any state) with sHaRiA LaW KENNETH. It’s just not happening. It’s not going to happen. Where are they even hiding? The Muslim population in Arkansas is approximately 6,765, which is about 0.2% of the state’s total population. That’s two-tenths of one percent.

But the unfortunate amygdala-based lifeforms don’t know that and don’t care to know that. All they know is that there is DANGER, WILL ROBINSON, and they need to be alarmed and wary, and they look for a strongman to protect them.

Here’s the deal: Sarah Huckabee Sanders knows the truth as well. She no more thinks that Sharia law is a threat to Arkansas and its laws than I do. She is, literally, stampeding the amygdalas for her own political power purposes. No more, no less.

Sharia law, trans people, CRT, DEI, and lately, their oldest shibboleth, cOmMuNiSm KENNETH! — all of these are simply code words, buttons that unscrupulous, dare I say immoral, people push to stampede the amygdalas.

Once you see it, you will see that this is practically the only tool in the [[[Republican Party]]]’s toolbox these days. It’s not as if they can campaign on specific policies and programs, so they rely almost completely on glittering generalities (“raise living standards”), tribalism (“America is a Christian nation”), and simple fear-mongering (“sHaRiA LaW KENNETH!!!!!”).

I offer no solution. So innate is this inborn fear and anger that it is next to impossible to convince that kind of humanoid that while it might be exciting to be afraid of sHaRiA LaW KENNETH as a treat, that’s not going to lower the price of gas or restore our nation’s standing in the world. Mostly they would regard any effort to defuse their panic with truth as another ATTACK ON AMERICAN PRINCIPLES KENNETH.

All we can do is guide them gently whenever we can, and outvote them. (We can mock them as well, but I know that that is not a good strategy for changing their minds. Sucks to be them.)

They’re doing it again…

Posted on by Dale

…and by “them” I mean the [[[Republican Party]]], of course.

Here’s the headline:

And here’s the story.

You may wonder, if you are of sound mind if not body, why would the [[[Republican Administration]]] want to stop the National Park Service from going public with safety issues? As one park ranger said, “These reports alert others in the park of such things as rockslides, flash flood, and other, as well as reminding them about common sense safety.”

So, class, let’s review the steps in [[[Republicans]]] governance:

  1. Kneecap a government service (but never the military).
  2. Complain loudly about the degradation of said service as an example of how gOvErNmEnT nEvEr WoRkS KENNETH.
  3. Privatize it. Sell it off to your rich buddies so they can make you pay for what used to be a public service.

Got it?

  1. Kneecap the service: The [[[Republican Administration]]] has already cut National Park Service budget by over $700 million, necessitating layoffs, closures, etc.
  2. Complain loudly: This current move to keep the NPS from reporting deaths is sly. Those deaths will then be trumpeted — without context — by the Dept. of the Interior as evidence that NPS employees are not up to the task of keeping the public safe.
  3. Privatize it: Keep you eyes open and your ears peeled. It’s coming. They’re already sniffing around a lot of public land for mining, etc.

Another day, another [[[Republicans]]] scam.

update: It’s worse than you think.

 

Radical Liberals Attack the Kickwrassling Show!! KENNETH!

Posted on by Dale

Note: This post is meant to mock the amygdala-based lifeforms among us. Details of the plot and the plotters may emerge that obviate any true facts I might have used at this time. We regret the [future] error.

As soon as Ka$h Patel, unfortunate director of the FBI, announced that they had ThWaRtEd A pLoT KENNETH to obliterate the bouncy-house kickwrassling shindig on the lawn of the White House with drones, the rightwing Wurlitzer[1]  cranked up and immediately began feeding the amygdala-based lifeforms their daily ration of fear and anger: Only the evil liberals in our nation would want to murder the thousands of people at the bouncy-house kickwrassling shindig on the lawn of the White House KENNETH.

Only not.

It soon emerged that the actual terrorists were five (so far) of the saddest MAGAts you have ever heard of. They lived in widely distanced states, communicated online, and in general gave the sense that they were middle school boys playing some war-based RPG. In fact, the FBI “caught” them when the youngest dweeb’s mother overheard him talking to his fellow conspirators and called the local cops.

Their first problem was that they had no drones and apparently had no plans to obtain any. They seemed oblivious that drones are banned from the airspace over D.C. or that entire systems are in place to destroy any drone that strays.

It gets better. Their plan included a daring Jack Reacher escape along the Potomac, but it lacked some crucial details. What details, you ask?

Details like how to a) hang around and shoot important people as they fled the drone massacre; b) what to do about the entire Secret Service, DC police, etc, who probably would be loitering about; c) how to get to the river undetected more than three miles away; and d) how to escape to the abandoned church they designated as their safe house. (We will omit the problem of how they thought they were going to get close enough to carry out a) in the first place.)

It was magnificent. It rivals the best efforts of the Current Administration.[2]

So, I hear you ask, why would such diehard MAGAts want to snuff out the Current Administration?

As it says in the image, it was pretty simple, at least in MAGAt terms: They believed [[[Turmp]]] when he said he would root out all those baby-eating Demonrats™ and expose them as the Epsteiniest of the Epsteiners. They voted for him so he could finally, finally expose these demonic libtards for who they really were. (There was also some pretty virulent antisemitism.)

Oops, as pundits are increasingly saying. Once these boys realized that [[[Turmp]]] never intended any such thing for the very basic reason that he is all over those Epstein files, their sense of betrayal led them to each other and to come up with a plan to eradicate the evil from our nation once and for all.

Oops.

It depends on Shonda Rhimes‘s writers room, of course, but I can see their indictment and trial being a bit of a PR problem for more than one Individual. It will be delectable.

Or, in an unsurprising plot twist, they’re offered jobs in the Current Administration.

—————
[1] See here.

[2]See the Reflecting Pool, Iran “war,” flu outbreaks, ad infinitum

Pity the poor rich.

Posted on by Dale

Pity the poor rich.

The MAGAt crowd wants you to be as outraged as they are about taxing rich people’s New York pied-à-terres or private jets, so let’s take a look at their outrage.

If you ask them why the very very rich shouldn’t contribute to the well-being of the entire society by being taxed on their excess — and yes, dears, it is excess wealth — then their argument goes something like:

Rich people earned that wealth.

Ergo, they deserve that wealth. (And deserve to keep every penny of it.)

And then the trap:

Conversely, poor people haven’t earned that private jet.

Ergo, they do not deserve it.

Whatever they don’t have, they do not deserve it because they have not earned it.

Without meaning to, the MAGAts have admitted that they view their fellow humans as sorted into deserving and undeserving of… whatever it is that money can provide.

Food.

Shelter.

Clothing.

Family.

Education.

Healthcare.

Simple pleasures.

Life.

The same people who buy the store-brand mac-n-cheese and watch the checkout lady like a hawk do not think that people who are worse off than they are deserve anything they haven’t earned.

The same people who are, by chance, conservative Christianists, will gladly ring your doorbell and bore you to tears with how none of us deserve divine grace. But you — you over there on food stamps? Sucks to be you.

This mindset is poisonous. It guarantees that whoever believes this has agreed that some human life is not worth as much as others. They believe at some level that some people — other people — are tainted, are contaminated, are less than… than whom, MAGAts?

Less.

Than.

Them.

The disgusting irony of their position is that they are currently whining that aMeRiCa iS tOo A ChRiStiAn NaTiOn KENNETH, and yet they will tear the house down if anyone suggests that the government of a Christian Nation might want to think about feeding the hungry, comforting the oppressed, etc., etc., as someone once said. You would think they’d care.

But they don’t.

Odd, that.

see also: Bes

In the new Good Omens season 3, Heaven is gearing up for the Second Coming, the End of All Things, and they’ve engineered the reincarnation of Jesus. This beautiful boy is completely guileless and after two millennia away from reality is guided by his innate goodness. The scene where he begins feeding people from a pizza box — that we can clearly see has only one piece of pizza when he starts — brought me to tears. Yet MAGAts will say, “Nope, nope, none of that. When does he start smiting the unbelievers and throwing them into Hell for eternal torment? That’s what they deserve.”

Also, script team, I have a thrillingly better idea for the climactic event scene in the bookshop. Call me. (Why are you panicking? It only requires a reshoot of about three minutes of script. It will be totally worth it.) (Interested parties may email me if they’d like to hear about it. It’s a major spoiler, though not really if you see how things are going.)

Obama does the SNL cold open

Posted on by Dale

SCENE: THE OVAL OFFICE, OCTOBER 2015

[OBAMA sits behind the desk. It is squeaky clean. He is wearing a tan suit, obviously. Various members of his administration — THE GANG — stand/sit around the room.]

[There is a very long silence. Very long. THE GANG fidgets slightly. OBAMA looks around, clearly bored. Finally, he sighs…]

OBAMA:

Guys, this is boring.

[THE GANG mumbles in agreement.]

Shouldn’t we be doing something?

XXX:

Sir, the election is in a couple of weeks. There’s not really any time to do anything. I mean, what did you have in mind?

OBAMA:

Well, I’m kind of worried about my legacy. I’ve had some pretty big stumbles in the last eight years.

XXX:

Yes sir, but look at all you did accomplish — the Affordable Care Act…

THE GANG:

[air quotes, gang signs, etc]

O-BA-MA-CAAAARE!

XXX:

<more accomplishments, shared by various members of THE GANG, ending with…>

XXX:

… and no one will ever forget the Iran Deal!

[THE GANG agrees, maybe a couple of high-fives.]

OBAMA:

Still… [gestures…]

[THE GANG mulls it over, a bit uncomfortably. Then:]

XXX:

Sure, sir, there have been some blunders, but at least you didn’t botch the swine flu pandemic!

XXX:

<more catastrophic blunders/scandals/etc, shared by various members of THE GANG, ending with…>

XXX:

…or start a war with Iran and end up with the Strait of Hormuz blocked!

[EVERYONE laughs uproariously.]

OBAMA:

Man, that really would have been stupid.

[THE GANG agrees.]

OBAMA:

I guess there’s only one thing left to say. [turns to camera] America…

ALL:

LIVE FROM NEW YORK, IT’S SATURDAY NIGHT!

SNL Writers Room, I leave it to you to fill in the gaps. Have fun!

UDPATE: ANOTHER GENIUS IDEA: When Obama hosts SNL, other guest artists should be all the late night hosts targeted by [[[Turmp]]], with at least one faux-Fox interview.

They’re doing it again

Posted on by Dale

And by “they” I mean [[[Republicans]]].

In January, the National Park Service announced that they were doing away with timed entry at those parks that have successfully used it to control traffic during peak times.  The [[[Republicans]]] in Congress all humphed and snorted that the lifting of the rule was so that Amerkins’ personal liberties KENNETH would not be infringed when they pulled up at Arches NP with a carload of kids after driving for days and be turned away because they didn’t plan. Quelle horreur!

So now Bubba and Sissy and their whiny kids are going to sit in a line of cars for hours just to get in, and then they’re going to sit in a line of traffic for the rest of the day since there will be no parking and there is no place to turn around.

How do I know? Because in 2023, we planned ahead and got our timed entry to Arches NP that fit our plans. We still sat in line for quite a while before we got in, but at least we didn’t crawl through the park with 10,000 Bubbas.

Without timed entry, places like Arches — and the nearby communities — suffer from the flood of humans. But [[[Republicans]]] keep framing it as freedom KENNETH despite objections from nearly everyone. (In fact, the administration has backed off the plan for most parks, creating the usual [[[Republican]]] chaos and even more economic stress for locals.)

So what’s going on? Easy. It’s the go-to strategy for [[[Republicans]]]: screw around with a public good, wreck it, then tell us that it needs to be privatized for efficiency, i.e., profit! (They are in this regard one step above the Underpants Gnomes.)

Exhibit A: The United States Post Office, established in the Constitution as a public service, was ordered by Congress to prefund pensions for 70 years into the future, something required of no private company in the country, thus ensuring its current struggles. [[[Republican]]] response? Privatize it.  The free market always does it better and cheaper, right?

Exhibit B: Public schools, or as [[[Republicans]]] call them, failing public schools. How do they know our schools are failing? They did it on purpose. Privatize: Take our tax dollars and give them to private/religious schools instead.

Exhibit C: The entire federal government since Turmp’s election. See: DOGE, et al. Have government support systems become more efficient KENNETH since?

In every case, [[[Republicans]]] take a public good, impose restrictions deliberately designed to cripple the public good, then bray about how gOvErNmEnT dOeSn’T wOrK KENNETH. Next step: Sell it off to their rich friends.

Don’t believe me? Here’s Turmp’s nominee to lead the NPS: Scott Socha, “a president for parks and resorts at Delaware North, which describes itself as one of the world’s largest privately owned hospitality and entertainment companies, with more than $4 billion in revenue in 2022.” At least his company has experience with national parks, but here’s the tell from the White House: “Scott looks forward to implementing America First initiatives, such as increasing park access for American families, reducing permitting burdens, and raising money for conservation projects.”

In case your [[[Republican]]] translation device can’t handle the load, here:

  • ‘America First’ = whitewashing any history that offends [[[Republicans]]]
  • ‘increasing park access’ = letting the public run wild and degrading the parks to the point where it only makes sense to sell them off KENNETH
  • ‘reducing permitting burdens’ = mining
  • ‘raising money for conservation projects’ = because we cut the NPS’s $2.9 billion operating budget by more than $900 million.

Not convinced? The [[[Republican]]] onslaught against public lands is a) not new; and b) ongoing.

And how does Fox News feel about this?

3 national parks slash red tape for Americans by boldly transforming visitor entry

Good luck, Bubba. Hope y’all brought snacks and a pee bottle.

Megyn Kelly is lying. Again.

Posted on by Dale

Fox News and its minions are absolute masters of propaganda. Here’s a tweet from Megyn Kelly doing her part to protect the murderous [[[SS]]].

 

Okay, class, let’s learn some propaganda.

  1. …itching for another confrontation: Assumes facts not in evidence. Megyn just made this up. If anything, it might be more accurate to wonder if it were not the ICE agents who were itching for another confrontation. Apparently, breaking Pretti’s ribs in this encounter was not enough for them.
  2. …stalking, harassing, and terrorizing: Or, you know, observing and recording, all that legal, 1st Amendment stuff. Remember, Megyn is trying to exonerate the men who executed Pretti a week or so later.
  3. HE had been victimizing THEM: This is DARVO: Deny, Attack, Reverse Victim & Offender. It’s what narcissists and sociopaths do when accused of wrongdoing, and the [[[current administration]]] has perfected the technique to the point that it’s just second nature to them. Yes, Megyn, the poor ICE were victims of that mean mean Alex Pretti. They were right to kill him.
  4. Felonies?? Over here on the real Earth, words have meanings, and “spitting at federal law enforcement” is not a felony. Nor is crossing our border, now that Megyn brings up that distinction — it’s a misdemeanor, and a civil one at that. Like a parking ticket. Hold that thought.
  5. …reckless, and it cost him his life: No shit, Megyn. How was he to know that ICE agents were apt to pump him full of bullets and joke about “Call of Duty” as they tallied up their bullet holes, just because he annoyed them? However, Megyn, if that is even your real name, nothing Pretti did, neither in this BBC clip nor in the footage of his death, nothing, Megyn, was punishable by being shot to death by an extra-judicial vigilante, despite your sneering attempt to pin the blame on him.
  6. …illegal-loving: Oooh, scary illegals, aren’t you scared of the scary illegals, it’s right there in the name: ILLEGALS.  ::sigh:: As we mentioned above, the vast majority of what’s “illegal” about most undocumented immigrants is the fact that they slipped into this country the “not right” way, and that’s at most a misdemeanor. A parking ticket ≠ murder. You know what murder is, Megyn, don’t you? You wouldn’t confuse the two, right? Like labeling a parking ticket illegal so that your viewers assume it’s as bad as murder?

I would love to know why Fox News viewers think it’s more important to be scared of innocent people than of out-of-control [[[Stormtroopers]]] who think they can throw you to the ground and shoot you just because you made them feel harassed and terrorized KENNETH.

Just kidding. I know why they’re afraid of innocent people and not the [[[Stormtroopers]]]. Bless their hearts.

 

Panic! At the Ballroom

Posted on by Dale

For the past four years or so, I have exterminated with prejudice political email from either party for the simple reason that they’re never giving me useful information — they’re merely trying to panic me into giving them money. Therefore, a lot of what is going on in that world escapes my notice, and I’m okay with that.

Recently, though, after its last update, my phone has started alerting me to those emails going into the trash/spam folder in my Google accounts. I don’t know why, and it’s super annoying. After the holiday weekend, I’ll see if I can convince it to cease and desist. (There are a couple of other issues, but that’s between me and Apple.)

Normally I see that the alert is one of those emails and I just ignore it and never see it in my mail app. This morning, however, I decided to click through, and this is what greeted me.

Let’s do a little propaganda lesson, shall we?

1. “We are not safe”: Got to get those amygdalas[1] warmed up right off the bat — OOGA BOOGA! Notice, too, the tribalism of “we.” They never mean all of us, just them.

2. “A confidential internal memorandum”/”TOP SECRET”:  Because you — yes you — are a special member of the tribe, privileged even.

3. “horrifying”: Panic word

4. “Deep State is winning the sabotage war”: Winning the what now? What the hell is a “sabotage war”? Is this a new buzzphrase for the amygdala-based lifeforms? A quick search yielded:

And remember that the only thing stopping our tribe from winning is some nameless, all-powerful cabal. It could not possibly be that our policies suck or that the Republican Party represents corporations, not people!

5. “actively undermining”: Because they’re nefarious, evil underminers.

6. “facing a TOTAL WIPE OUT in the next elections”: Okay, I have to give this one to them. They are indeed facing a wipe out. Because of all the Deep State underminers, of course. What other reason could there be? As the great Nate Bergatze is wont to say, “Nobody knows.”

7. “DEVASTATING,” “losing everything”: Panic words

8. “The America you know will be GONE”: You know, that America that we all know and love from 1950s TV shows. Not the one with voting rights, marriage rights, healthcare rights, social safety nets, legal rights, all those things that used to be reserved for the tribe and somehow are now expected by everyone in the country.[2]

9. “too dangerous for the public”: Panic words, but you — yes you — are special enough, cool enough, to take a peek at this full report. With data, KENNETH.

10. “immediately confirm your loyalty to the MAGA movement”: And there it is. If you want to stay in the tribe, if you want to maintain your specialness that somehow the rest of the world fails to see,[3] then you need to confirm your loyalty KENNETH.  Which means, of course, give us your money.  What, you thought you were just going to check a box that says, “Yes, I am loyal to the MAGA movement”? (Not to be unkind, but yes, that’s probably exactly what the little MAGAt thinks.) (To be fair, I’ve received an equal number of emails from the Democrats with the exact same ploy: “Show your support for [Dem of the Day]!”)

11. “SHOCKING MEMO”: One more panic word, then you need to CONFIRM YOUR STATUS (!) NOW.

Bless their hearts.

Here’s the thing, though: In the past week as these alerts have been jamming my phone (I just got two more as I’ve typed this), it’s been clear that the elections of Nov. 2 have set the MAGA crowd back on their heels. They lost elections all over the place, even in places where they haven’t lost elections in decades. They are, to put it mildly, concerned. The level of panic words in these emails has risen till it’s a flood of fear and anger.

And never, ever, ever do these emails outline policies or programs that they want the amygdala-based lifeforms to vote for. They only dial up the fear and anger to 11, secure in the knowledge that the little MAGAts will vote for them in a panic and never realize that the actual policies that they’re voting for will harm them. (See: Soy bean farmers, hemp farmers, etc.]

What is to be done?

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[1] For those just joining us, I use the phrase “amygdala-based lifeforms” to describe those among us whose brains respond most to fear and anger and sometimes become addicted to those emotions to the extent that they will manufacture things to be angry about/afraid of. See above.

[2] See Wilhoit’s Law: Conservatism consists of exactly one proposition, to wit: There must be in-groups whom the law protects but does not bind, alongside out-groups whom the law binds but does not protect.

[3] If you haven’t already, go watch Death by Lightning on Netflix. It’s a four-episode series on the assassination of James Garfield by Charles Guiteau, and Matthew Macfadyen’s performance as Guiteau is as frightening a portrayal of this specialness as you have ever seen.