Nostalgia for the Motherland

In Chapter 6 of Part II (we’re talking War & Peace here), we see Kutuzov and the Russian army falling back towards Vienna. (Kutuzov does a lot of falling back in this novel.) It’s October 23 (!), and the army is crossing the Enns River at Enns.

The day was warm, autumnal, and rainy. The vast prospect that opened out from the height where the Russian batteries stood, defending the bridge, was now suddenly covered by a muslin curtain of slanting rain, then suddenly widened out, and in the sunlight objects became visible and clear in the distance, as if freshly varnished. At one’s feet one could see the little town with its white houses and red roofs, the cathedral, and the bridge, on both sides of which streamed crowding masses of Russian troops. At the bend of the Danube one could see boats and an island, and a castle with a park, surrounded by the waters of the Enns falling into the Danube; one could see the left bank of the Danube, rocky and covered with pine forest, with a mysterious distance of green treetops and bluish gorges. One could see the towers of a convent looming up from the pine forest with its wild and untouched look…

This is, of course, the southernmost corner of Hofvonstein.

It was almost exactly at this time that Carl IV died under the usual Hofvonsteinian circumstances. Evidence points to Queen Mother Therese, Carl’s stepmother and lover, as being somehow responsible. His half-brother Georg took the throne as Georg II.

This is a rather obscure portion of our nation’s history, but perhaps my readers will remember Georg II’s son, Maximilian II. It was Maximilian’s assassination in 1879 that set off his son Leopold III’s liberal reformist tendencies, as well as his grandson Maximilian’s reactionary ones, culminating in that awful night in Vienna, December 31, 1899.

The castle in the Enns, in fact, was property of Karl Magnus von Ludwighof, Leopold’s prime minister and eventually king himself.

I know that there are still some who thrill at hearing this.

Caught up

I’m caught up and can begin my summarizing again. Hopefully I have gotten that out of my system and can settle down into more of what I myself expect from my 100 Book Club readers at school: no summary, more personal response.

Small points of the translation differences continue to stand out. When the elder Prince Bolkonsky is giving his daughter Princess Marya her daily geometry lesson, he exclaims against her stupidity, but then paces the room, “touched the princess’s hair with his hands, and sat down again.”

That phrase “touched the princess’s hair with his hands” struck me in several ways. First of all, it’s almost clumsy. Certainly if I came across it in one of David Wilson’s novels, I would consider it risible. (FYI, I do plan on attending his autographing session at Scott’s Bookstore on Tuesday.)

But here it is direct, blunt, and ambiguous. I went back to the Dunnigan translation, and sure enough, she has “lightly touched his daughter’s hair,” which is a very different and very much softer approach to Nikolai Andreevich’s character. In the new translation, it is not clear at all whether or not Prince Bolkonsky has a soft spot for his plain, religious daughter.

Of course, in either translation, there’s a lot of this. Tolstoy just gives a blank description of an action, much as Benjy’s narration of his section The Sound and the Fury, his father touches the wall and the lights come on, just the facts, ma’am, and none of the emotional underpinnings. I myself am not very good at reading any emotional underpinnings into these descriptions. Asperger’s, perhaps? Perhaps it’s very clear to everyone else that the Prince is stroking Masha’s hair tenderly if regretfully?

But I don’t think so. I think phrases like these are pivot points for Tolstoy’s approach to these characters. Prince Bolkonsky keeps alternating, at least in my reading, between savage martinet and sane if somewhat self-centered paterfamilias, and I think one way Tolstoy does that is to give us these emotionally empty descriptions of the character’s actions.

Another way I think he does it is to tell us what a character’s like, and then show us something completely different. Everyone’s terrified of the Prince, but he doesn’t really do much to be scary. Yes, he yells at people, and he seems extremely short-tempered. But he’s not an ogre at all; much of his anger is defensive, and I’m a little surprised that none of the women with whom he shares his house has figured this out.

The new translation

Well, this is different.

First of all, of course, it’s significantly heavier than my old paperback. It’s really too heavy to hold comfortably. It has to sit in your lap or on a table. This makes it not very likely that I’ll get a lot of reading done at bedtime. I know, we’ll actually clean off that nice chair in the corner of the bedroom that was meant to be a sitting area rather than a storage zone.

It’s funny, too, that I was expecting, I don’t know, some kind of special binding. This is War & Peace we’re talking about. But it’s just a plain red buckram binding, and I’m not impressed with the cover design or the dust jacket design. That’s just quibbling, however.

Inside…

The first thing you will notice is that the first page is half in French. Every translation I’ve seen has Anna Pavlovna greeting Prince Vasiliy in French, but then continuing in English. It is a surprise to discover, then, that when Tolstoy says (in my other translation) “she said in French,” he actually wrote it in French. Our translators, like Tolstoy, have translated it for us at the bottom of the page, but I find that makes for bumpy reading. (Cf., The Infinite Jest or House of Leaves)

A little more disturbingly, there are endnotes. I am a compulsive end-note reader, especially if they are explanatory and not just bibliographic citations, and so every time one of those tiny little numbers is perched above a period, I have to struggle not to turn to the back of the book to see what it says. Often it’s stuff I already knew, so that’s doubly frustrating. One ends up reading with two bookmarks in place.

So how is it as a translation? How does it read?

Already I can tell it is less decorous than Ann Dunnigan’s, a little rawer in its descriptions of people and their motivations. The French sets a more complete picture of the rarefied circles of Petersburg and its society’s disjuncture from the Russian language and culture. Pierre is described not as “stout” but quite frankly as a “massive, fat young man,” and continuing descriptions make him sound almost Hagridesque, not quite our romantic hero that other versions try to conjure up. It’s much easier to see/understand Anna Pavlovna’s panic when this uncouth young person begins to argue with one of her star guests.

In the introduction, one of the translators discusses how other translations smooth out Tolstoy’s distinctive repetitiveness, i.e., he’ll use the same word over and over in one paragraph. This trait has already popped up, and the effect is rather startling, because it deliberately draws attention to the scene.

All in all, I think it’s going to be a good read. I’m starting over at the beginning, so you’ll be spared any summaries for a while.

War & Peace, ch. 15 (Part 1) – ch. 6 (Part 2)

A word about names. One of the things that used to drive me nuts about Russian novels, and I went through a heavy Tolstoy/Dostoevky phase way back when, was trying to figure out who was who. Everyone had so many names; they were called so many things!

Everyone has a given name: Pyotr, Natalya, Andrei. In addition, they have their patronym, their father’s name, plus -ovich (“son of”) for men and -evna/ovna (“daughter of”) for women. The elder Prince Bolkonsky’s name is Nikolai, so Andrei’s middle name is Nikolayevich.

You would call a friend by both their given name and their patronym, i.e., Andrei Nikolayevich, and amongst the boys, you might use their patronym alone.

Last names are usually inflected, i.e. Bolkonsky for the men and Bolkonskaya for the women. You will see that Anna Karenina’s husband’s name was actually Karenin.

To make matters worse, in War & Peace, most of our character speak French as their first language, so our main characters are often Pierre, Natalie, and André. (Pierre is rarely referred to as anything else, except when he’s being spoken to by older characters.)

Then there are the diminutives, the nicknames. Natalya/Natalie/Natasha/Tasha are all the same person. Andrei’s sister Marya (Marie/Masha) calls him Andryusha, though no one else does.

And all of this depends who’s doing the talking. In one scene, Andrei can be called or referred to as Prince, Bolkonsky, the Prince, Prince Bolkonsky, Andrei, Andrei Nikolayevich, and Nikolayevich. Not to mention Your Excellency or Excellency.

This is why it’s handy to have a list of the characters handy. Trying to remember who Anna Mikhailovna is (Princess Drubetskaya, widowed mother of Boris Drubetskoy) can be trying indeed.

There is much skulduggery afoot at Count Bezukhov’s house. As the old man lies dying, all the forces in search of his fortune make their move. Apparently there is a recent will naming Pierre as the heir, which ordinarily would be meaningless since Pierre is illegitimate.

However, the Count has written a letter to the Emperor Alexander, asking him to confer legitimacy on Pierre. (The Emperor would do this without hesitating because Kiril Vladimirovich was a big big deal in the court of Catherine, aka The Great.) This would make the will enforceable. Prince Vasiliy finally gets the oldest Malmontov cousin to realize that they will inherit nothing if that letter is not destroyed.

Anna Mikhailovna, in the meantime, drags Pierre from the name day party at the Rostovs back to his dying father’s house. Apparently it was she who got Count Bezukhov to change his will in the first place, and she skillfully engineers Pierre’s presence. She even engages in a literal tug of war over the portfolio containing the letter, just long enough for the old man to kick off.

These scenes are remarkable because we get the full picture of a dark house, full of people who have gathered for this man’s death, none of them because they love him and are sorry at his passing. Many are curious bystanders; there is some clergy; and then the loving family members whose nerves are stretched to the breaking point as they try to cement their inheritance. They all know what the others are up to, and they strive mightily to prevail, all while trying to maintain a facade of civility in front of the outsiders.

In the midst of all this tension, Pierre is serene and clueless. People say and do things that puzzle him (although we are fully in the loop) and he simply acquiesces to their bizarre requests without understanding a thing that’s going on.

In the first of many such scenes, Pierre simply decides to give himself over to these outer forces, that things clearly are “meant to be.” This becomes a major theme for Tolstoy, the question of whether we can actually affect/effect our destiny. He thinks not, on the whole.

 

Bald Hills is the Bolkonsky estate, some 200 miles west of Moscow. (Think Bald Hills = Tara, only without the emotional attachment to the place. And the armies are heading the other way, toward the city. But I get ahead of myself.) Andrei is bringing Lisa there to stay for the remainder of her pregnancy. He’s off to war with General Kutuzov.

Prince Nikolai is crusty, and a bit eccentric, but not really cruel. (He was a big big deal in the court of Paul, but has been living in exile from the capitals for many years.) His daughter Marya is a religious girl. Hers is a difficult character for me. I cannot see her as anything but a mealy-mouthed wimp, but surely Tolstoy saw her as one of the preeminently sane ones? I can’t tell.

Still, she hits the nail on the head when she chides Andrei for abandoning his wife there: Lisa is a city girl, raised in Society, and how dreadful it must be for her to be dumped in such a far away place with such odd, non-sophisticated people. Doesn’t matter: Andrei’s gone in little more than 24 hours after arriving.

I love the scene between Andrei and his father when he says goodbye. Prince Nikolai is very upset and cannot force himself to conceal his distress, even though he’s actually supportive of Andrei’s decision. Like many of us, he converts that anxiety into anger and takes it out on everyone else. He stalks into the front hall and glares at Marya and Lisa, who has fainted. “Is he gone?” he snarls. “Good!” And slams the door.

Thus ends Part 1.

Part 1 was Peace. Part 2 is War. We are in Austria, watching the Russian army assemble, waiting for the Austrian army to defeat Napoleon. In the first six chapters, we see Andrei, Nikolai Rostov, and Dolokhov (a companion of Pierre’s demoted for his role in the drunken shenanigans in Petersburg, they tied a policeman to the back of a bear and threw them both in the Neva), all in their new surroundings. They’re all getting on with it, eager for combat to begin.

Andrei in particular is a new man, freed from what he sees as a stifling society existence and a millstone of a wife. He is an adjutant to General Kutuzov himself, thanks to a letter from his father.

We also meet a whole host of new characters, including Nikolai’s bunkmate, Denisov, who has a speech impediment: “Ah, Wostov, bwing me the bwandy!”

Kutuzov, a wily old coot if there ever was one, is not so eager for comabt. He’s been asked to bring the Russian army on down to join the Austrian General Mack, but he’s stalling. Sure enough, Mack turns up at his headquarters, injured and soundly defeated by Bonaparte. Kutuzov’s hand has been forced: time to move the army.

In these first six chapters, we begin to get an idea of what Tolstoy’s take on war is going to be. The first thing we see is Dolokhov’s regiment scrambling to get ready for a review by Kutuzov himself. The orders were not very clear: did “in marching order” mean the way they arrived, or does the General want dress uniforms? They spend all night getting their dress gear ready, but 30 minutes before the General gets there, an adjutant rides up to double-check and tells them they guessed wrong. For reasons of his own, Kutuzov wants the Austrian commanders to see them bedraggled and foot-weary from their long march.

If in a calm situation no one can transmit orders with any hope of their being reliably understood, what’s going to happen when the cannons are going off and everyone’s being shot at? Doesn’t look good for those who think that history is made by men of genius like Napoleon and Mikhail Ilarionovich.

War & Peace, ch. 7-14

First of all, a grievous miscalculation on my part: it would take a few more than three chapters per day to finish this book in a month. It’s closer to ten, about 45-50 pages a day. I failed to remember, when I checked the number of chapters making up Book I, that each book is divided into Parts. I was actually seeing just the number of chapters in Part 3, not all of Book I.

Still, not an overwhelming task.

The scene shifts back to Moscow and we get to meet the Rostov family. These are nice people, the jolly Count Ilya, his quiet wife, and their children: Nikolai (who’s going into the army); Vera, a bit cold; Natalya, who’s thirteen and whose name day we are celebrating; and Petya, the little boy. There’s also Sophie, their cousin, in total love with Nikolai.

Natasha, who is our third main character, is in love with Boris Drubetskoy, whose mother’s scheming back in chapter 2 has achieved its goal: he’s now an officer and heading out with the army. He returns her love, but insists they wait till she’s sixteen before doing anything about it.

The main topic of gossip in Moscow is Pierre’s behavior in Petersburg, which has gotten him exiled to Moscow, and the impending death of his father, Count Kiril Bezukhov. It seems that the direct heir to Kiril Vladimirovich’s fortune is none other than Prince Vasily Kuragin, who has come down from Petersburg to watch the old man die himself and to make sure the old fool doesn’t leave his fortune to the bastard Pierre.

Tolstoy now gives us a lesson on money: even though he describes the Rostovs as Princess Drubetskaya’s “rich relatives,” it’s clear by the end of chapter 14 that they are not as flush as they might be, portending problems for their children’s marriage prospects, and remember that both Nikolai and Natasha are in love with people poorer than themselves.

And around Count Bezukhov’s deathbed are gathering some pretty voracious vultures: Prince Vasily; three nieces who are unmarried and clearly nursing their uncle for a hoped-for inheritance; Princess Drubetskaya, who drags Boris from the Rostovs to the Count’s house (the Count is Boris’s godfather) and who immediately attaches herself to the dying man like a pious leech.

The only one unconcerned about the Bezuhkhov fortune (forty thousand serfs and millions!) is Pierre, who has been refused admittance to his father’s sickroom by his female cousins.

The Rostovs also lack a sense of appreciation for money. Princess Drubetskaya has told the Countess that she needs 500 rubles to pay for Boris’s uniform and doesn’t know where she’s going to get it. That’s the main reason she goes to pay her respects to Count Kiril Vladimirovich. But as soon as she’s gone, the Countess calls in her husband and fretfully asks for the sum. He doesn’t even ask what it’s for; he calls for his manager and instructs him to bring the money, “in nice new, clean notes,” to his mistress. It’s clear from the manager that the money is not really available, but he does it anyway.

When Anna Mikhailovna returns, the Countess forces the money on her, and they both cry:

They wept because they were friends, because they were both kindhearted, because, having been friends from childhood, they should now be concerned with anything so base as money, and because their youth was over… But their tears gave them both pleasure.

I find passages like this incredible, because Tolstoy taps into the emotional currents so directly and honestly, and yet there’s always that undercurrent of the omniscient narrator telling us not to fall too deeply into that river. These women are indulging themselves. We know that Anna Mikhailovna, for example, is not exactly kindhearted, and we know, or should feel some foreboding, that being unconcerned with “anything so base as money” is bound to be a problem sooner or later. If this were Dickens, both these women would be in the poorhouse by Book III.

Of course, if this were Dickens, he’d have us laughing our heads off at this scene.

War & Peace, ch. 1-6

First of all, in order to read War and Peace in a month, you only have to read about three chapters a day, and they’re short. The Wikipedia article is not a bad guide.

I am surprised at how well my old paperback has held up. It’s more than 30 years old, but the pages are in good shape and the binding is fine. Not bad for an old Signet Classic ($1.95). I’m still going to see if B&N have the new translation tomorrow.

In case your translation doesn’t have it, here’s the list of (main) characters from the front of mine:

  • The Bezukhovs
    • Count Kiril Vladimirovich Bezukhov
    • Pyotr Kirilovich Bezukhov (Pierre) his illegitimate son
    • The Mamontov sisters (Pierre’s cousins)
      • Princess Katerina Semyonova
      • Princess Olga Semyonova
      • Princess Sophie Semyonova
  • The Kuragins
    • Prince Vasily Sergeyevich Kuragin
    • Prince Anatol, his elder son
    • Prince Ippolit, his younger son
    • Princess Elena Vasilyevna Kuragina (Helene)
  • The Bolkonskys
    • Prince Nikolai Andreyevich Bolkonsky
    • Prince Andrei Nikolayevich Bolkonsky, his son
    • Princess Marya Nikolayevna Bolkonsaya, his daughter (Marie, Masha)
    • Princess Lisa Bolkonskaya, Andrei’s wife
  • The Rostovs
    • Count Ilya Andreyevich Rostov
    • Countess Natalya Rostova
    • Count Nikolai Ilyich Rostov, their elder son
    • Count Pyotr Ilyich Rostov, their younger son
    • Countess Vera Ilyinicha Rostova, their elder daughter
    • Countess Natalya Ilyinicha Rostova, their younger daughter
    • Sofia Alexandrovna, a cousin
  • The Drubetskoys
    • Princess Anna Mikhailovna Drubetskaya
    • Prince Boris Drubetskoy, her son

Of course, the first person we meet is none of the above. It’s Anna Pavlovna Scherer, whose salon is the place to be seen in Petersburg. Everyone, just everyone, is there, and Anna Pavlovna declares in the opening paragraph her distaste for all things Bonaparte. It’s 1805, and the Corsican is causing much rumpus over in Europe, threatening to drag Russia into war. But Anna Pavlovna will have none of it at her party.

We meet Prince Vasily Kuragin, a smarmy courtier who is looking to marry off his rake of an elder son to some rich girl. Anna Pavlovna suggests Marie Bolkonskoya: good family, and loads of cash. She’ll see what she can do.

We meet Prince Vasily’s daughter Helene, who is so gorgeous that Tolstoy can barely keep his eyes off her. She also appears to be not very bright.

We meet Prince Andrei Bolkonsky, young, handsome, married to the adorable and pregnant Lisa. Andrei is one of our big three characters; his sister is the one Anna Pavlovna wants to marry off to the icky Anatol.

And finally we meet Pierre Bezukhov, the second of our main characters, recently returned to Russia after being educated abroad. He’s a large young man, not very polished, but quite amiable if a bit feckless.

Right off the bat Tolstoy gets the entire novel going: Byzantine matchmaking, always for money; happy/unhappy marriages; social/political advancement; and the threat of Napoleonic conquest. The NYT blog has decided that the first thing they’re going to talk about is Tolstoy’s idea that great men don’t cause history, that Napoleon himself is just a cog in the machine, but if you’re just encountering the novel, that’s a little big to be starting with.

One of the things that amazes me most about Tolstoy is how within six chapters he gives us scenes in rather grand society, at Anna Pavlovna’s salon, that hint at a world very different from the one you and I live in: rank, privilege, who’s out and who’s in, and very very great wealth. His author’s eye travels the beautifully appointed rooms, tracking conversations while never letting us forget that every person is part of a great hive of society.

We begin to see, too, what part these people play. The Kuragins seem to be scheming and worthless: the crafty father, the indolent daughter, the slimy younger son. (Come on, Ippolit, Lisa is pregnant!) The Bolkonskys are virtuous and educated. The Drubetskoys are down on their luck but determined to rise again. Poor Pierre is clearly a fish out of water in this shark pool.

Another amazing thing is how Tolstoy then takes us directly into the heart of things. After we follow the Bolkonskys home, where Pierre has tagged along, we see Andrei and Lisa deeply unhappy for a variety of reasons: he feels trapped and stymied by his marriage; she feels rejected because he wants to go off to war with General Kutuzov and plans to send her to stay with his depressing family in the country. Both are miserable, and Tolstoy’s portrait of them and their relationship is etched in crystal.

It’s interesting, too, that I found myself unsure of Tolstoy’s attitude towards Lisa in the opening chapters. His description of her is a bit too precious, and I keep thinking he’s making fun of her, perhaps. But when she and Andrei get home, her misery is profound and touching, and Andrei comes off as callous.

Finally, Pierre emerges straight away as a complex character without a center, although he seeks desperately for meaning. It is his search for meaning that drives the novel. Innately good, but unable to discipline himself, we leave him in chapter six at an extremely wild party at Anatol Kuragin’s place. Drinking, gambling, and whoring, and Pierre likes it that way.

The floor is open for discussion.

Happy birthday!

Wow, a… what would you call it, a quadrofecta? Today’s the birthday of P. G. Wodehouse, Italo Calvino, Virgil, and Friedrich Nietzsche.

The first two are two of my favorite writers. Wodehouse was called The Master, and there’s a reason why. His sure-footed prose is devatasting, and his masterpiece is Bertie Wooster, the idiot younger-son narrator of all the Jeeves stories. Those of you who know Hugh Laurie only from the TV series “House” would be astonished at his goggle-eyed portrayal of Wooster in the BBC series.

There’s something extremely comforting about Wodehouse’s work. It takes place almost exclusively in the rarefied aristocratic stratosphere of 1920s England, and every story is a delicious little farce. Existentially, all the problems are caused by the characters trying to do something, to cause something to happen that they think they desire. In Wooster’s case, it’s usually a woman who wants to marry him. (It’s never explained why any sane female would think Bertie is a good catch.) Anything Wooster does to counteract the plot makes things even worse, until the last minute when Jeeves, who has been rearranging the pieces on the board while no one was looking, resolves things to our (and his) satisfaction.

Wodehouse worked by putting his typescript pages on the wall and making sure that there was at least one huge laugh on every page. In this he is completely successful. I’m having to resist the urge to go get my Wodehouse omnibus volume even as I type this. His work is completely irresistible.

As for Calvino, just wow. His work is the exact opposite of Wodehouse’s: cool, cerebral, dispassionate. The baron in the trees, If on a winter’s night a traveler, Cosmicomics, Invisible cities, and my favorite, Mr. Palomar.

Of course, that one is my favorite because I pulled three of the pieces to perform in several of the theatre’s annual Gala. What a fun character to inhabit, and what a challenge to convey the author’s layers of literary intent.

Both Wodehouse and Calvino are joys to read because they are authors who juggle: language and ideas in Calvino’s case, plot and characters in Wodehouse’s. I like authors who can juggle.

This looks like fun

There’s a new translation of War and Peace coming out this week, and the NYTimes is going to read it on their reading blog this month. I think I’m going to play along.

[Barnes & Noble had the book on their website, but of course did not have it just now when I did a quick run out to the new store. If I have to order these things, I’ll just do it throught Scott’s.]

I read W&P many years ago, in high school, I think, and I actually enjoyed it. I know I must have skimmed it, but it was a thrilling, sprawling book. It is as great as they say. This would have been the Constance Garnett translation, of course, and I still have that paperback copy.

I think I started reading it several times, because as one of the readers on the NYT blog says, Tolstoy plunges you right into the thick of the main characters’ society, with all those horrifically confusing names and patronyms and diminutives. I couldn’t keep track. But then one time, I must have broken through that wall, because I kept going and just finished it.

My friend Tim Gunn had read it before me, and his father had given him a map that he then shared with me of the main battles discussed, so that at least we weren’t confused geographically. And there were a couple of adaptations around that time, an eight-hour Russian version, and a British miniseries starring Anthony Hopkins as Pierre, so those both helped in sorting out who was who.

A couple of years ago I began to read it again, sort of as my summer reading project, and I found that it was truly amazing. I didn’t get very far in the book; who knows what distracted me that summer? Was there a new Harry Potter book? Probably.

Anyway, I’d like to try again, and I’d like to try this new translation. Since it’s not really available until Tuesday (I now notice in re-reading the B&N website), it’s odd that the NYT would begin their discussion already.

I’ll keep you posted.

In other news, of course, the venerable Smoke Signals, ECHS’s newspaper since before I began teaching there, has been shut down by what appears to be a fretful and not very surefooted administration. I highly recommend reading the Times-Herald account (along with two op-eds that got them in trouble) and then acting accordingly. The Coweta County School Board can be found here.

In other other news, I brushed up “Sir Christémas” and will mail it out tomorrow to the Outside the Bachs competition. Oddly enough, I think it works extremely well with organ, better than with the celesta and certainly better than using a piano. There’s one chord that keeps bugging me, but I’m resisting the urge to make it consonant.

Avoiding work: rare books

I’m avoiding working on the music this afternoon by cooking. And while I’m waiting for my Sugar-Crusted Breton Butter Cake to rise, I’m continuing to avoid work by reading the New York Times Book Review.

The first two pages are an ad for Bauman Rare Books, so I thought I’d buy a couple with my lottery winnings.

Mark Twain, Adventures of Huckleberry Finn, first edition, first issue, in original cloth-gilt. What’s not to like? As Hemingway said, “All modern literature comes from one book by Mark Twain. It’s the best book we’ve had.” And he’s right. A wonder of story-telling and sly satire often missed by some of our more racially sensitive friends. $17,500.

Beatrix Potter, The Tale of Peter Rabbit, first edition, “a stunning copy.” If you haven’t looked at an original Potter recently, go pick one up. The writing is charming and her illustrations are inimitable. If you’ve only read it with some other person’s sad little drawings, you need to seek out the real thing. $17,000.

Harper Lee, To Kill a Mockingbird, first edition, in the original dust jacket. Wow. I’ve love to have this one. $16,000.

Geoffrey Chaucer, The Workes of Geoffrey Chaucer, one of fewer than nine known copies of a 1551 edition, illustrated with woodcuts, early 19th century calf binding. Maybe if I owned this I might finally read the whole thing. Yes, I know, but my early lit professor had us read Troilus and Criseyde instead. $55,000.

Charles Dickens, The Christmas Books, first editions of all five. You know why. $28,500.

Ludwig van Beethoven, Cinquieme Sinfonie, first edition of the Fifth. That would be so cool. Then I could pay musicians to play so I could conduct from it. $13,500.

Hm. Maybe Harold Arlen/Johnny Mercer, Come Rain or Come Shine, first edition, inscribed by Mercer to Judy Garland. It’s camp, but it’s cheap at $6800.

Lewis Carroll, Alice’s Adventures in Wonderland, first American edition, $16,000.

Let’s see, that comes to $170,300 all told. Not bad for a couple of minutes shopping. Of course, I know I’d have to read them with white cotton gloves on, and I’d probably have to buy a whole new house with a climate-controlled library, but they’re all nice additions to my collection, I think.

Don’t worry, though, I’ve left plenty for you guys: Einstein‘s The World as I See It, $18.500. E. B. White, Charlotte’s Web, original dust jacket, $2400. F. Scott Fitzgerald, This Side of Paradise, first edition, special tipped-in “Author’s Apology,” $16,000. William Bligh, Narrative of the Mutiny, first edition, $22,000. A 1610 Geneva Bible, folio volume in calf binding with brass fittings, $16,500. Robert Frost, Complete Poems, signed, $3600. Marc Chagall, Dessins pour la Bible, first edition, $9800. James Joyce, Ulysses, first edition, one of only 750 copies printed on handmade paper, uncut and unrestored copy in original wrappers, $65,000.

I knew that would get your attention, Marc and Jeff. Don’t start a bidding war. So unseemly.

Here’s their website. Anything else you see that you like?

A depressing list

Articles like this one are always depressing to me. I know I will never read even a tenth of the books listed, and that makes me sad.

I’d love to hear which ones fascinated you, or even if you’ve read any of them! (I’ve read one of them, actually.)

Make sure you click through to Part Two. The link is at the beginning of the article, so you have to scroll all the way back up.